Empty

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said: ‘Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood as you know, would run into it and I should turn red in the face.’ ‘Yes, sir,’ the class said. ‘Then why is it that while I am standing upright in an ordinary position, the blood doesn’t run into my feet?’ A class member shouted,

‘Because your feet aren’t empty.’

Explaination

Young David came home from school one day and found his pet chicken laying on the ground with his legs pointing straight up into the sky. When his father got home, he explained that the chicken has died and his legs were pointed up to Jesus in heaven.

They buried the chicken and that was that. Two weeks later his dad came Home from work and David ran up to him yelling,
“Daddy, Daddy, we nearly lost Mommy today.”

“What?” his father replied.

“When I got home from school, Mommy was laying on the bed with her legs pointing up in the air yelling, ‘Jesus, I’m coming, Jesus I’m coming.’ If it wasn’t for Uncle Terry holding her down we would have lost her for sure!”

The case dismissed

A young woman several months pregnant boarded a bus. She noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling humiliated on account of her condition. She changed her seat and he seemed more amused. She moved again and then on her third move he burst out laughing …. …….. ….She had him arrested.

When the case came before the court, the young man was asked why he acted in such a manner. His reply was: When the lady boarded the bus I couldn’t help  noticing she was pregnant.

She first sat under an advertisement, Which read:

‘Coming Soon: The Gold Dust Twins’ .

I was even more amused when she changed her seat and went to sit under a shaving advertisement, Which read:

‘William’s Stick Did The Trick ‘.

Then I could not control myself any longer when on the third move she sat under an advertisement, Which read:

‘ Dunlop Rubber would have prevented this accident.’

And The case was dismissed… …..!!!

@~!Birth Explained!~@

A little boy goes to his father and asks “Daddy, how was I born?”

The father answers: “Well son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:

Scroll down…You’ll love this… .
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‘You got Male!’

Which one is the married one?

Teacher:- “Right, there are five birds sitting on a telephone line. A farmer comes along with his gun and shoots one of them. How many are left?”

Little Johnny:- “None Miss”.

Teacher:- “Could you tell me why?”

Little Johnny:- “Well Miss, when the farmer shot the bird, the sound of the gun would have frightened the other birds away”.

Teacher:- “Well, the answer I was looking for was four. But I like your thinking.”

Little Johnny:- “Miss, while were asking questions, could I ask you one?”

Teacher:- “Its a bit irregular, but go on then”

Little Johnny:- “There are three women sitting on a bench in the park, eating ice lollies. One of them is licking the lolly; one is biting it; and one is putting it in and out of her mouth. Which one is married?”

Teacher (rather embarrassed):- “Err… I suppose it was the last one.”

Little Johnny:- “Well Id have said the one with the wedding ring. But I like your thinking.”

Bed time Prayer

Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents the week before Christmas.

At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs.

“I pray for a new bicycle!”
“I pray for a new Nintendo!”
“I pray for a new VCR!”

His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, “Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn’t deaf.“

To which the little brother replied, “No, but Grandma is!“

A woman wanted to reach her husband on his mobile phone but discovered that she was out of credit; she instructed her son – to use his own phone to pass across an urgent message to daddy who is at site.

After junior had called, he got back to mummy to inform her that it was a lady that picked up daddy’s phone the three times he tried reaching dad on the mobile.

She waited impatiently for her husband to return from site, immediately she sighted him, she gave him a very hot slap, while the man was trying to ask why?

She repeated the slap, people from neighborhood rushed around to know the cause of this.

The man asked junior to tell everybody what the lady said to him when he called, Junior said “the number u are trying to call is not reachable“.