!!!!!….Other People’s Problems….!!!!!

February 22, 2008

A mouse looked through a crack in the wall to see the farmer and his wife opening a package; what food might it contain? He was aghast to discover that it was a mousetrap!

Retreating to the farmyard, the mouse proclaimed the warning, “There is a mouse trap in the house.” The chicken clucked and scratched, raised her head and said, “Mr. Mouse, I can tell this is a grave concern to you, but it is of no consequence to me; I cannot be bothered by it.”

The mouse turned to the pig and told him, “There is a mouse trap in the house.”

“I am so very sorry Mr. Mouse,” sympathized the pig, “but there is nothing I can do about it but pray; However, you can be assured you are in my prayers.”

The mouse turned to the cow, who replied, “Like wow, Mr. Mouse, a mouse trap; am I in grave danger, Duh?”

So . . . the mouse returned to the house, head down and dejected to face the farmer’s mouse trap alone.

That very night a sound was heard throughout the house, like the sound of a mouse trap catching its prey. The farmer’s wife rushed in to see what was caught.

In the darkness, she did not see that it was a venomous snake whose tail the trap had caught. The snake bit the farmer’s wife and the farmer rushed her to the hospital. She returned home with a fever. Now, everyone knows you treat a fever with fresh chicken soup, so the farmer took his hatchet to the farmyard for the soup’s main ingredient His wife’s sickness continued as friends and neighbors came to sit with her around the clock. To feed them, the farmer butchered the pig.

The farmer’s wife did not get well, in fact, she died and, so many people came for her funeral, the farmer had the cow slaughtered to provide meat for all of them to eat.

MORAL of the Story
So . . .the next time you hear that someone is facing a problem and think that it does not concern you, remember that, when the least of us is threatened, we are all at risk.


@~!No More Complaints!~@

February 22, 2008

Arthur Ashe, the legendary Wimbledon player was dying of AIDS which he got due to infected blood he received during a heart surgery in 1983.

From world over, he received letters from his fans, one of which conveyed -
“Why does GOD have to select you for such a bad disease”?

To this Arthur Ashe replied – The world over — 50,000,000 children start playing tennis, 5,000,000 learn to play tennis, 500,000 learn professional tennis, 50,000 come to the circuit, 5000 reach the grand slam, 50 reach Wimbledon, 4 to semi final, 2 to the finals.

When I was holding a cup I never asked GOD “Why me?”
And today in pain I should not be asking GOD “Why me?”

Happiness keeps u Sweet,
Trials keep u Strong,
Sorrow keeps u Human,
Failure Keeps u Humble,
Success keeps u Glowing and God Keeps u Going…..


How careers end…

February 22, 2008

Cooks are deranged.

Lawyers are disbarred.

Ministers are defrocked.

Drunks are distilled.

Alpine climbers are dismounted.

Piano tuners are unstrung.

Orchestra leaders are disbanded.

Office clerks are defiled.

Programmers are decoded.

Accountants are discredited.

Pastry chefs are deserted.

Perfume makers are dissented.

Butterfly collectors are debugged.

Students are degraded.

Electricians are refused.

Underwear models are debriefed

Painters are discoloured.

Judges are disappointed.

Vegas dealers are discarded.

Mathematicians are discounted.


!!! A ‘To’ Z Of Motivation !!!

February 22, 2008

A void negative sources, people, places, things and habits.

B elieve in yourself.

C onsider things from every angle.

D on’t give up and don’t give in.

E njoy life today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow may never come.

F amily and friends are hidden treasures; enjoy their riches.

G ive more than you planned to.

H ang on to your dreams.

I gnore those who try to discourage you.

J ust do it.

K eep trying no matter how hard it seems, it will get easier.

L ove yourself first and most.

M ake it happen.

N ever lie, cheat or steal, always strike a fair deal.

O pen your eyes and see things as they really are.

P ractice makes perfect.

Q uitters never win and winners never quit.

R ead, study and learn about everything important in your life.

S top procrastinating.

T ake control of your own destiny.

U nderstand yourself in order to better understand others.

V isualize it.

W ant it more than anything.

X cellerate your efforts.

Y ou are unique of all God’s creations, nothing can replace YOU.

Z ero in on your target and go for it!


Lessons on Life

September 8, 2007

There was a man who had four sons. He wanted his sons to learn not to judge things too quickly. So he sent them each on a quest, in turn, to go and look at a pear tree that was a great distance away.

The first son went in the winter, the second in the spring, the third in
summer, and the youngest son in the fall.

When they had all gone and come back, he called them together to describe what they had seen.

The first son said that the tree was ugly, bent, and twisted. The second son said no it was covered with green buds and full of promise.

The third son disagreed; he said it was laden with blossoms that smelled so sweet and looked so beautiful, it was the most graceful thing he had ever seen.

The last son disagreed with all of them; he said it was ripe and drooping with fruit, full of life and fulfillment.

The man then explained to his sons that they were all right, because they had each seen but only one season in the tree’s life.

He told them that you cannot judge a tree, or a person, by only one season, and that the essence of who they are and the pleasure, joy, and love that come from that life can only be measured at the end, when all the seasons are up.

If you give up when it’s winter, you will miss the promise of your spring, the beauty of your summer, fulfillment of your fall.

Moral:

Don’t let the pain of one season destroy the joy of all the rest.
Don’t judge life by one difficult season.
Persevere through the difficult patches
and better times are sure to come some time or later

Warm wishes for a blessed life….


!~@Priceless!@~

September 8, 2007

A husband wakes up with a huge hangover the night after a business function. He forces himself to open his eyes and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! The husband sits up in bed and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror and notices a note on the table:

Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping Love you!

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.

The husband asks: Son . . . what happened last night??

Son: Well, you came home after 3 am , drunk and out of your mind. You broke the coffee table, puked in the hallway and got that black eye when you ran into the door.?

The husband asks: Huh?! So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??

His son replies: Oh, THAT? Mom dragged you to the bedroom and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, Leave me alone, bitch! I’m married!??

Broken table–$200

Hot breakfast–$5

Red rose bud–$3

Two aspirins–$.25

Saying the right thing, at the right time . . . PRICELESS!


NeW DeFinTiOns

August 30, 2007

Traffic light: An object that automatically turns red when your car approaches.

Swimming pool:
A mob of people with water in it.

Self-control: The ability to eat only one peanut.

Cannibal: A person who likes to see other people stewed.

Egocentric: A person who believes he is everything you know you are.

Optimist: A girl who regards a bulge as a curve.

Magazine: A bunch of printed pages that tell you what’s coming in the next issue.

Opera: When a guy gets stabbed in the back, and instead of bleeding he sings.

Buffet: A French word that means ‘get up and get it yourself.’

Baby-sitter: A teen-ager who must behave like an adult so that the adults who are out can behave like teen-agers.

Tattoo: Permanent proof of temporary insanity.


Some Advertisements

August 13, 2007

Advertisement in hospital waiting room:

Smoking helps you lose weight… one lung at a time!

 

Advertisement in a Long Island shop:

Guitar, for sale – cheap, no strings attached.

 

Seen on a bulletin board:

Success is relative. More the success, more the relatives.

 

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

 

My grandfather is eighty and still doesn’t need glasses. He drinks straight out of the bottle.

 

Sign in a bar:

Those of you who are drinking to forget, please pay in advance.

 

Sign in a driving school:

If your wife wants to learn to drive, don’t stand in her way.

 

Behind every great man, there is a surprised woman.

 

The reason men lie is because women ask so many questions.

 

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone.

 

Sign at a barber’s saloon In Detroit:

We need your heads to run our business.

 

A traffic slogan:

Don’t let your kids drive if they are not old enough or else they will never be.

 

Sign in a restaurant:

All drinking water in this establishment has been personally passed by the manager.

 

 Sign on a famous beauty parlour window:

Don’t whistle at the girls going out from here. She may be your grandmother!


Explaination

August 2, 2007

Young David came home from school one day and found his pet chicken laying on the ground with his legs pointing straight up into the sky. When his father got home, he explained that the chicken has died and his legs were pointed up to Jesus in heaven.

They buried the chicken and that was that. Two weeks later his dad came Home from work and David ran up to him yelling,
“Daddy, Daddy, we nearly lost Mommy today.”

“What?” his father replied.

When I got home from school, Mommy was laying on the bed with her legs pointing up in the air yelling, ‘Jesus, I’m coming, Jesus I’m coming.’ If it wasn’t for Uncle Terry holding her down we would have lost her for sure!”


Impact of Job Change

July 24, 2007

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped few centimeters from a shop window.

For a second everything went quiet in the cab, and then the driver said: “Look mate, don’t ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!”.

The passenger apologized and said, “I didn’t realize that a little tap would scare you so much.” The driver replied, “Sorry, it’s not really your fault.

Today is my first day as a cab driver – I’ve been driving a van carrying dead Bodies for the last 25 years…


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